When things break, it’s not the actual breaking that prevents them from getting back together again. It’s because a little piece gets lost - the two remaining ends couldn’t fit together even if they wanted to. The whole shape has changed.
John Green, Will Grayson, Will Grayson (via kushandwizdom)

More good vibes here

(via quotelounge)

(Source: apskepner)


queenoftheimps:

FILE THIS UNDER “JOKES I DID NOT GET WHEN I SAW THE MOVIE AS A CHILD”.


drinkwithmegrantaire:

Favorite twitter reactions to the JLaw situation. (x)

neon-vagina:

bigeisamazing:

ronaldreagay:

laughing cow cheese huh?
image
I BET THAT COW WASNT LAUGHING WHEN YOU SLAUGHTERED IT HUH

you don’t kill a cow

to make cheese

image

this is literally my favorite

(Source: catholicschoolgay)

rabioheab:

what do you MEAN it’s inappropriate for gold digger by kanye west to be my wedding song


siderealscion:

mALEFISHIENT, MARK

ive been meaning to make work-related comics forever, so enjoy some choice movie title bastardizations.

(these all actually, seriously, happened, with no humor or awareness on the part of the customer at the time as far as I could tell. so, yes, someone actually asked for a ticket to “Detergent” with a straight face.)


epic-humor:

this is why I love cats so much

(Source: explodes-into-space)

bagellie:

benefits of being friends with me

  • shitty jokes whenever you ask for them
  • shitty jokes whenever you don’t ask for them

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

gallifrey-feels:

More fun facts about ancient Celtic marriage laws: There were no laws against interclass or interracial marriage, no laws against open homosexual relationships (although they weren’t considered ‘marriages’ since the definition of a marriage was ‘couple with child’), no requirement for women to take their husband’s names or give up their property, but comedians couldn’t get married

It’s Adam and Eve not Adam Sandler and Eve

(Source: saltwaterandink)

blackcubs:

 

anegbertinthetardis:

chinaprimehd:

morgasm-in-your-coffee:

detectivesangelstardisandwands:

mrarkon:

artist-chan:

optimussentinel:

ur-supposed-to-say-jerk:

thepizzakitty:

i hate pants that make it look like i have a boner when i sit but then i remember im a girl but i still worry that somebody will think i have a boner

SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS

Do… Girls really worry about this?

yes

Yes

yes

yes

yes

Yes

yes

(Source: sburbs-givenaway)

sebastiandebeste:

*hears a single word from a foreign language that i know* Wow. haha not to toot my own horn or anything but did you guys know that you are in the presence of a sophisticated linguist

whovian-all-over:

ohyousillypotato:

And here we can see the Blogger in her natural habitat.

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The blogger is a shy, docile creature…

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… that prefers the darkness…

image

… and tends to be wary of the outside world.

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The Blogger rarely sleeps, and when it does, it does so in seemingly random places.image

We have attempted to understand the dietary habits of the Blogger…

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… but to no avail.

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I am so glad this is back

(Source: mechapuppy)